Half of Ramadan has passed. Most of us had goals that we wanted to achieve, and the intentions of increasing our du’a, our khushoo’ (devotion) and so on. This is supposed to be THE Ramadan. We imagined hearing verses of Qur’an and tears flowing from our eyes, and being like the people described in the verse above. But for some, 14 days have passed and still that feeling in the heart hasn’t kicked in. There is something missing. Everything outwardly is going good, but inside… it’s not all there (If it is you can skip to the bottom).
There are some practical reasons as to why. Sometimes we get so caught up in doing (“I have to finish 3 juz’ by fajr!”) that we forget the thought behind it. That this act is being done to get closer to Allah, in hope of the reward, that we pray it will be accepted and will intercede for us on the Day of Judgment.
It could also be a sin that we have not repented from and are persisting with during Ramadan. This is also requires us to sit down and think, go back to Allah and try to stop that act.
And sometimes it is none of those things- just that Allah delays those tears so that we work harder. Maybe we did start this Ramadan promising that it would be a new page with Allah, but because we have been so far the whole year we need time for the hardness around our hearts to soften. So Allah wants us to persist and be at His door, and had we been allow to shed those tears these first couple of days we might feel that we’ve done enough. Allah is teaching us an important lesson, and that is humility and the recognition that we need Him.
It doesn’t mean that there is no hope in us and we should give up. If Allah’s Mercy has encompassed a murderer (man who killed 100 people), a prostitute (who was forgiven for an act of mercy towards a dog), and a drunkard (Malik ibn Dinar, the great scholar before he repented) when they returned to Allah, will it not encompass you?
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